The buzzer rings

As Tammy was filling me in on her upcoming wedding, we were patiently waiting for the buzzer to go off informing us that Katie was out of surgery and in recovery. It was about 4:00 PM and "buzz", she was done. They had an area that you had to report to that had two phones and soon as we arrived one of the phones rang. I told Kenny to answer it. I kept hearing "Uhha, right, okay, sure. " Then I said, "What did they say?" Well she was out of surgery and did great. Instead of the two screws they were planning on inserting, she received eight screws, one steel plate, and two steel bars. She was in recovery and she had finally gotten that water that she so desperately wanted. We were to meet her up in her room in about thirty minutes, so we headed up there.

Katie comes wheeling in, a little groggy, but alert. The nurse show us her drain tube and everything else that was attached to her. About this time we were running on no sleep from the morning before. Soon after Katie's arrival into the room, her friends started arriving. I didn't want to leave her by herself so Zach offered to stay that first night with her. The only thing available to sleep in was this horrible leather chair. So I left after I knew she was settled and headed to bed. I was so tired that I can't believe I found my way home. I immediately came home and took a shower and hit the sack. My sleep was irregular because I kept playing the events of the day around in my head. I couldn't turn off the commotion in my head.

Funny how conversations start

Katie has been wheeled off to be operated on and the rest of us was forced to sit and wait. We had heard from the doctor after an hour but we still had three more hours to go. So we sat and we sat. I kept jumping up to call those I needed to call. I was so thankful that I had my address book with me. There was small chit chat among the three of us or rather between Tammy and I. Kenny just sat there. I had planned a huge event at church that was suppose to take place the following day. I had been collecting pajamas for the children who were housed at the local shelters. These children hold a special place in my heart. I was worried about Katie, I was concerned about how we would pull this event off. I didn't know how Katie would be and I knew that I had to be present for this event. I have learned a long time ago to take the word worry out of my vocabulary. Worrying gets you nowhere. You can be concerned but being worried to the extent that it is so consuming, it doesn't get you anywhere. Again I relied on my faith. So Tammy and I discussed the pajama drive. About a month prior Tammy and Kenny had become engaged. I had not shared with any of the Agee family about my possible engagement and what I mean by that is that there hasn't been a date set for several reasons. Kenny had gotten up to go to the bathroom and I could tell that Tammy kept looking at my ring. She just kept staring. Then she finally said, "Karen, your ring is absolutely beautiful. Are you engaged?" I said, "Yes, and thank you. I also understand that congratulations are in order for you as well." That statement opened a whole new can of worms. Now she had the opportunity to talk about her upcoming wedding. I have also learned when to keep my mouth shut and to listen and that is what I did for the next hour. Kenny came back and he sat there listening to Tammy talk about their wedding. It was the most bazzar thing I have ever experienced. I am going to stop here because I am still amazed at the conversations. So just sit and wait, like I had to sit and wait for Katie. More tomorrow.

As the doors open

The attendant who was taking Katie to the operating room was very comical, he was trying to lift the mood as he wheeled us around several corridors of MCV. You almost have to be a rocket scientist to make your way around this hospital but as time went on, I was in that class of genius'. They asked all of us to wait in the waiting room as they got her settled and then they would call us back two at a time. Kenny and I were first to go back, they were explaining the Katie and I what would take place. Dr. Mounasammy showed us the x-rays of the break. They had written a big "Yes" in black ink on the place where they were to operate. Katie seemed calm, tired, thirsty. She even asked how soon after the surgery could she have some water. They assured her that it would be soon after. Then we got word that her Pastor was there. He came back and prayed with her, then Mrs. Agee and Vicki came back to talk with Katie. I refused to leave her side. Then Kenny finally got to come back there one more time. We kissed her and told her that we would be there when she woke up. The surgery was expected to take four hours. I couldn't think past one minute to the next. So finally they told us that it was show time and we left the room, never looking back.

As the five of us gathered together, by then Tammy had arrived to be there for Katie and Kenny. Mrs. Agee and Vicki decided to leave and it just left the three of us. Now it was really awkward. Tammy said that they were going downstairs to get something to eat and asked if I wanted to join them. I found myself following them as we got on the elevator. We went to and got a sandwich. It was so weird sitting there with Kenny and Tammy. I ate quickly and excused myself. There were phones on the floor for public use and I had a lot of phone calls to make. At this point it was 12:30 PM and I was running on no sleep since the day before. Everything seems automatic. So went upstairs and started calling everyone in my address book. I kept Auntie up to date. I know Paula would have been there but she was out of town welcoming her new grandson. I tried to call Sally. Sally to me is one of the most dearest people I know. I called her house and her cell phone and I didn't get an answer. For some reason I just wanted to hear Sally's voice. So I became obsessive in calling her. Still whenever I called I could not get an answer. I didn't want to leave a message because I had the fear that once I spoke I would lose it. But I kept calling and calling, no answer after I pushed the send button. After the phone calls, Kenny and Tammy came upstairs to sit and wait. We knew we had several hours to go and this would be where God was really going to protect me and my mouth. MCV had given us this device similar to the one they give you at a restaurant when you are waiting to be seated. When Katie was done, the buzzer would go off and we were to report to the front desk. As soon as we got back from lunch the buzzer went off. We all looked at each other, it had only been about an hour since she had gone down. My first thoughts were "What's wrong". But we were instructed to go to the area phone and we received a call from the surgeon telling us that so far everything was fine. That it would be another three hours. So we took our seats, me, skip a chair, Tammy, and Kenny. Sleep was not a luxury that we could take advantage of at this point, we were now driving on overload.

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Waiting to be rolled to OR.

So now Katie is in her private room and the nurses quickly get her settled. She is still begging for something to drink and everyone is declining her request. They were waiting for the word to get her ready for the OR. I watched as the sun come up over the city. It was just Katie and I. Kenny had gone home to take Devin to work and to get things settled at the office. The nurses had changed shifts soon after we arrived on the floor and we had to go through the same process all over again. Katie still asked the new nurses the same question, "Can I have something to drink?" and the answer was still no. She looked at me and told me to never take water for granted. I was trying to keep my fears safely tucked inside. As the sun began to shine, shortly after 8:00 AM Vicki and Mrs. Agee arrived. Kenny came soon after that. Around 10:00 AM the informed us that it was time to go. They had explained that they would have to insert two screws and that she would be down for at least six months. That they knew that she would not be able to walk on that foot for three months. She would either use a walker, crutches, or a wheelchair. After hearing all of this, I was still in denial about what was happening. As we prepared for her to leave her room, the nurses told us that we could go with her but to say our good-byes in the room. Then it hit me. I suddenly felt so alone. There was Kenny with his mother and his sister. There I stood all alone. I had no one there to comfort me. I couldn't imagine Kenny being any comfort and he wasn't. I looked at my little girl and then I finally realized the seriousness of it all. She was about to go into major surgery. There was the possibility that she would have some permanent damage. The tears began to flow. I tried really hard to hide them from Katie. The nurse wanted to talk with Katie alone and asked for all of us to step outside the room. There stood the three of them and I alone. I just walked away. As I walked back, it was Vicki who approached me and hugged me and Mrs. Agee followed suit. It was some comfort but it wasn't right. I had called Auntie around midnight the night before to let her know what was going on. I knew that she would not be able to find her way around MCV. I had called Debbie at 5:30 AM to tell her and she doesn't drive downtown. Billy was at work. Devin was who knows where. I could have called anyone at church to come but I didn't. So there I stood. They finally wheeled her out of the room and we headed for the elevators to the Fifth floor. As we were headed to the operating room, the VCU director of education came to get the information about Katie's school so that she could notify them of what was going on and to set up home schooling. Katie thought, great I finally get a good excuse to miss school and they are hitting me up for homework as I head for surgery. That walk to the operating room was on of the longest walks I have ever taken. We got on the elevator and the doors closed. This was it, this is where life changes even more. One door closes, another one opens.

Arriving at MCV

We waited for the rescue squad to arrive. It didn't take long and Kenny made it back in the nick of time. I had asked if I could ride with Katie to insure that someone would be with her at MCV. I knew how the parking was and I feared that Kenny or I would not be with her. Even though she is 18, she still needs guidance. Still at this point I was not sure of the extent of the injuries. We got her into the rescue squad and headed to MCV. As we came upon the entrance of MCV, police were everywhere. All we saw were blue lights. Kenny was behind us in his car. We pulled up to the emergency entrance and the police came over and demanded that we transport Katie inside immediately because an officer had been injured in a really bad accident and they were waiting for arrival. Kenny pulled in behind us and they demanded that he move, so off he went, trying to park. When we got inside Katie went one way and I went another. Because she is 18 I was not allowed to go back with her. They instructed me to go to the waiting room. I told them that I need to be with her that she had just turned 18 and that I had to be with her. That didn't care, all they were worried about was the officer who was due to arrive at any minute. They told me that as soon as they got the officer settled they would allow me to go back there and then they were locking down the hospital and no one would be allowed to enter for at least two hours. My thoughts went to Kenny. I knew he was worried and didn't know where we were. They guided me to the waiting room that was full of people sleeping in the chairs, legs in the walk way. It looked like a camp for homeless people. I just stood there with a paper bag in my hand. I called Kenny from my cell to let him know what was going on. He said that he had been stopped by a police officer and couldn't go anywhere. I told him about the possible lock down. The timing of our arrival because of this officer was not good. All of a sudden I heard the commotion of the officer being wheeled into the emergency room. You would have thought it was the President. Every officer in the City of Richmond was there. I watched as the officer, stripped of his clothing and blood every where, was wheeled to a room. I stood there not knowing what to do, lost and confused. About fifteen minutes later they allowed me to go back to Katie. The emergency room reminded me of some horror movie when someone is loose in the hospital or someone was lerking in the rooms. It was about 2:30 AM about now. Katie was still begging for something to drink. I felt so sorry for her, not knowing how to deter this desire. A technician came to take more x-rays. Then the Orthopedic surgeon came in and said that they would need to operate as soon as the reduced the trama patients. By 3:30 Kenny was allowed to come into the room. They had decided to put Katie on the Orthopedic Floor to wait for her surgery time. About 6:00 AM we went to the 11th floor. Luckily she was given a private room, a view of the city. Now all we had to do was wait.

We got the news ~ broken hip

As Kenny and I sat there waiting for Katie to return from the x-rays, we both sat there staring at the TV, not really paying attention to what was on the screen. We both were lost in our own thoughts. I still was not sure of what really happened. Then Katie came into the room. I tried to question her about what was going on but really couldn't get an answer, other than that she was really hurting. The nurse came in and gave her more morphine. Then the doctor came in to say that the x-rays really didn't show any breaks. He suggested that a MRI would show more details and he suggested that be the next step. We agreed and off went Katie again. By that time Dana and Zach had come back to her room. That is when Zach gave me more information with Kenny adding bits and pieces. She was at the pool with Andrew, TJ, and Athena. Katie was swinging and when she got to the top, the swing broke. Katie claims that she landed on her right hip and that the pain was so intense that she was screaming. Some neighbors called the police to report "Suspicious Behavior" at the pool. When the officer arrived, they called the Rescue Squad. Katie had tried to call me but couldn't get me, so she called her dad. Kenny arrived and the rescue squad wanted to charge a large amount to transfer her to the hospital, so Kenny took her.
It wasn't long after Katie had returned from the MRI that the doctor came in and said it was broken. I could see the fear come across Katie's face. I wanted to obsorb that pain for her. We asked, "what does that mean?" He told us that surgery would probably be the answer that he was calling in an orthopedic surgeon to review her case. They moved Katie to a smaller room while they decided what needed to be done. The orthopedic surgeon came in and told us that she need surgery immediately before the break started to set and that they did not have the capabilities to do such a surgery and that it would be necessary to transport her to MCV. I couldn't believe what was happening. Katie asked Kenny to go home and get her glasses and blanket. The whole time Katie kept saying how thirsty she was and wanted something to drink. They would not let her have anything in the event that they would have to operate. So we waited for the rescue squad to come to transport her to MCV. So we waited....

When you get the call

Back in 1981 I got a call from my mother telling me that my brother was at the emergency room. She really didn't give me any details but when I arrived that discovered that my brother was dying. He had basically drowned. He passed away three days later. I relive those events each June with each and every year that passes. So as a parent I always fear receiving any types of calls that one of my children are in the emergency room.

So on Thursday, October 23rd I got that call. I thank God that it was not at the magnitude of that eventful call in 1981.

I was sitting at home and around 8:30 PM my cell phone rang. By the time I got to it, it stopped ringing. I saw that it was Katie so I tried to call her back. I kept getting her famous recording "Call me back." This feeling suddenly engulfed me that this call was the usual call so I became obsessed with calling her back. I kept getting the same message. I tried calling her for 30 minutes. I decided to go to bed and as I laid my head on the pillow I asked God to protect and watch over Devin and Katie. As soon as I turned out the light my cell phone rang and I saw that it was Kenny. I immediately answered and without saying hello, I said "What's wrong?" He said that they were at St. Francis that Katie had fallen at Shady Acres Pool and she had hurt her hip. The details were very vague but nothing that set off the alarm that it could be serious. I had taken two Tylenol PM's earlier but didn't think about that as I was throwing on my clothes and telling Billy what was going on as I flew out of the house.

The drive took forever. I think I took the long way there. The drive gave me plenty of time to think. I always thought that I would get a call about Devin but never Katie. Then I realized that I had taken the Tylenol PM, then I feared that I would get stopped and be charged with a DUI. So that made me slow down even more. As I pulled into the parking lot I met Zach. He explained that Katie had been swinging and had gotten really high and as she reached her peak, the chain of the swing broke and she came crashing down. He didn't know the extent of her injuries. The nurses let me go back and there sat Kenny, Katie had been taken back for x-rays. Kenny and I have not been real talkative since our divorce, not on the best of terms and here we are thrown together by circumstance. I knew the day would come were we would be forced to interact but I aways thought it would be graduation, a wedding, or the birth of our first grandchild. We both sat there quietly as we waited for Katie to return. I tried to ask questions but he really didn't know much accept what he had been through. Katie was complaining that her hip hurt and she couldn't move her left leg. In the waiting room was Dana, Zach, and Chris. There were a few other kids but I didn't know them. So as time ticked by, we sat and waited.

I am taking the Bull by the Horns

Today I acknowledged that I have taken my life back. I acknowledged that I am not the same person I was before 2005. Today I acknowledged that regardless of where you have been, what you have done, it is up to you to make a difference. No amount of rehabilitation, no amount of guiltridden antics can set the course of action until you are ready to do it in your own heart and soul. Life still isn't wonderful or perfect and I have come to the conclusion that it will never be that way. The struggles we face each and every day keeps us on our toes for perfection, even though we may never reach that ultimate goal. Today is beginning of everything good or bad, strong or weak, happy or sad. Goals are for some people, they are not for me. I have an addiction and I have to take one day at a time, survive that day, thank God for getting me through that day, and prepare myself for the next one to come. At the end of the day it is no longer an issue of survival but an issue of accomplishment. My past is my road map to today and future is set for only I to explore. Regardless if I live one more day, I am proud to say that I am a better person than yesterday, happier today than before, and more aware of the evils of this earth. Faith, complete faith is what I live on now and it is worth it. Try it and you will be amazed at the results.